The Aerie
Resolutions are certainly a bear.
So, I find, are openings.
I've spent the last few years trying to achieve greater balance in my
life. I am terribly prone to over-commitment, and life has been a
whirlwind of stress.
So one of the ways in which I am reaching for balance is by focusing
more upon myself and my own goals.
That sounds horribly selfish, but I have always invested my time in
meeting the needs and expectations of others. I've given away my time
to a variety of unworthy ventures (no, I don't mean yours). I've
worked sixty-hour weeks for employers who didn't care. I've thrown
myself into projects for all sorts of people, but not myself.
And, mostly, all I've wanted was appreciation. Thanks. Praise. I'm
not greedy -- if I were, I could doubtless turn my computer skills to
better result than I have so far. Poor, poor pitiful me, I know, I
know.
But what I learned was that one must approach hard work
strategically. I learned to work hard before I learned strategy.
There's no point in working oneself to exhaustion for no reward. And
when one has family and children, there is no point in robbing your
family to feed the insatiable needs of work.
Now, just because I understand those lessons in the abstract doesn't
mean that I can put them into practice on a daily basis.
So having understood for a while now that I've been draining myself,
the question has been how to fix it.
So I've scaled back my investments of effort quite deliberately. I've
pulled back from volunteer efforts. And rather than draining myself,
I'm trying to find things that feed me.
Yeah, yeah, "me me me." I sound like a Boomer, I know. But I have to
start somewhere, so I have to introduce myself, so I have to talk
about me. Sorry. I'll get on to talking about interesting people as
soon as I can.
Anyway, one way in which I'm trying to replenish my resources is by
doing the things I need to and feel compelled to do. Things I
actually want to do, for a change.
[NOUNDERCON.gif] Hence, this on-line journal. I refuse to post "Under
Construction" on anything, so instead I'll just do stuff, and see how
long it takes. I'm hoping, of course, to post new pages daily. I
expect I'll be lucky to post new pages weekly. But I'll still do it
even if I only post new pages monthly. It's gotta be done.
So much for this entry. My time today is up.