The Aerie
I've often pestered the readers of my church mailing list that we should be more socially active than we already are. As Unitarians, I believe we have a duty to promote reason and tolerance in an increasingly intolerant and unreasonable world.
It seems, however, that I'm just a rookie at this. Columnist Jon Carroll reports on the Unitarian Jihad, which is even now planning to dump gallons of Ritalin and Valium into the Potomak upstream of the Beltway.
Having learned of its existence, it took me very little time to locate its contact points on the Web. As part of the indoctrination process, UJ members are granted a New Name. With this new name we dispose of our old, extremist, unreasonable selves, and give our lives over to the radical philosophies of Reasoned Discussion, Calmness, and Pragmatic Solutions.
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Pepper Spray of Quiet Reflection. This seems a very appropriate name, for only the Pepper Spray of Quiet Reflection can get some people to close their eyes and calm down for a while. I would especially like bestow the Pepper Spray of Quiet Reflection upon Minnesota Senator Michelle Bachmann, who has been using her eyes for foolish and undignified things.
Recently a blogger (available at the link) caught MN Senator Michelle Bachmann - sponsor of the amendment to engrave homophobia into the state constitution - crouching behind some bushes at the State Capitol while trying to spy on a gay rights rally in opposition to her amendment. Further images are visible at the bottom of the blog entry linked where it is clear that this figure is indeed Senator and aspiring US Congressperson Michelle Bachmann.
The Unitarian Jihad will be there next time, to provide Ms. Bachmann with a soothing cup of chamomile tea, a deck chair and an umbrella, so that she could relax while watching the rally (which is after all a public event upon which one need not spy). By assaulting her anxiety and quashing her fear, we of the Unitarian Jihad believe that even Ms. Bachmann would eventually succumb to the powers of Reason...
Posted by Albatross at April 12, 2005 11:42 AM