The Aerie
If I ever get rich, I've decided, I'm going to fund a foundation with
a really weird name, then I'll sponsor Public Radio.
It seems to be all the rage.
Listen to Minnesota Public Radio, and you'll hear some great
sponsorships. There's [1]"The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur
Foundation," for example. Hey, I have nothing against them, they look
like swell people... but, what's with the name? I have to assume they
are trying to carefully distinguish themselves from other
organizations, such as the John E. and Catherine T. MacArthur
Foundation, a much different group that sponsors National Pubic Radio
as well as NXMBLA and baby-eating cults.
Then there's [2]"Lou [stop] C. [stop] Kerr [stop]", of the inimitable
Kerr Foundation. Again, great people, good causes... but why do they
hate radio announcers? The enunciation is so tortured you half expect
to hear Uday Hussein in the background with the whip. Anything less
than a full stop between syllables turns the donor into "Lucy Kerr"
and there goes the grant next year.
Why can't these organizations use simple monikers, like "The MacArthur
Foundation" or "The Kerr Foundation"? Simple -- I think these folks
simply enjoy torturing Public Radio Announcers...
But of course, the winner has to be [3]The Robert Wood Johnson
Foundation. Everytime I hear that name, preadolescent boys are
snorting and giggling in the background.
"What should we name this thing?"
"*snort* I dunno! Uh... 'The I. P. Daily Fund?'"
"No, no, 'The Mike Easter Hertz Memorial'!"
I mean, c'mon. Didn't anyone at the Foundation say "Uh, Mr. Johnson,
are you sure 'Wood Johnson' is the best way we can distinguish your
organization from those of other Robert Johnsons?"
I suppose he may have replied, "Well, in my days of college hoops,
they called me the Blue Steal for my ability to steal the basketball,
what about that?"
I suppose in that case, "wood johnson" is preferable. It's still got
to be the silliest name since Wang Computers got bought up...
So when I become rich, what will I call my charitable organization?
"The Hugh G. Rection Trust"? Or maybe "The Ron Jeremy Endowment"? I'd
better put some of my people on it right away. As soon as I'm rich.
[4]Last
Posted by Albatross at May 7, 2003 12:00 AM