The Aerie
[Warning: some descriptions in this review, particularly the one about
Treebeard, constitute 'mental poisoning' and can detract from your
enjoyment of the film. Read at your own risk.]
Welp, went to see 'The Two Towers' last night! Midnight show.
My friend Joe picked me up and we headed out to Oakdale on the
outskirts of the Twin Cities, stopping along the way to grab snacks
for the duration.
The movie was showing on ten screens in a new multiplex. I loaded my
snacks into my jacket pockets and headed in. Right inside the doors a
young lady greeted us and said "Would you please empty your pockets,
we need to confirm that you're not carrying any weapons, recording
equipment, or outside food and beverages."
I flew out of JFK on September 20th, 2001, with less security
screening than this.
So I went back to the car, doffed my jacket (which would have been too
warm anyway, since I was wearing a sweater), and transferred three
packages of Planters Hot Peanuts, one chocolate marshmallow Rice
Krispie bar, one small package of peppered jerky and a 16-ounce bottle
of Minute Maid Orange Juice into my socks. The Flaming Hot Cheetos had
to remain behind in the car.
Walking with slow, somewhat crackly steps, I ran the gauntlet of
underpaid teens. Joe's sister and her fiance were late, so Joe waited
by the doors to give them their tickets while I checked out the lobby.
Slowly, and with crinkly paces.
The theater snacks were even more absurdly overpriced than I was
accustomed to in theaters. I don't recall exact prices, but I had the
distinct impression that they had been set by military contractors. A
small video arcade had a few interesting games, but at nothing less
than one dollar -- excuse me, four tokens -- per game. The whole place
was designed to simply suck money from the suburban teen population.
And they were there in force, a motley collection of suburban white
kids.
There was a young Comic-Book-Guy in training (who sat in front of my
initial location, forcing me to choose between moving or killing him
-- I moved). A guy in a 12-inch green stovepipe hat that was
apparently supposed to be an Ent costume (and which wasn't searched
despite being capable of holding a 2-liter bottle of Coke). There was
a girl in a too-tight white "Arwen" gown who apparently got mad at her
date and slumped down to sit pouting by herself nearby as the movie
began. Another fellow attempted to get in wearing black tights, a
black turtleneck, and a black scarf for a mask, with a whip wrapped
around his neck and shoulders like a scarf, and a black baton that
seemed to be a painted cardboard tube. He was turned away for some
reason.
But they let in the guy with the cardboard cutout simulation of
Sauron's helmet from the first movie. I saw him ordering popcorn. I
never knew Sauron liked popcorn. [Deep Sauron voice, with echo]"Give
me the grease which is like unto butter... and spare not the
salt!"[/voice]
We had a lot of time to inspect these characters during the 75 minute
wait for the movie to begin.
The movie itself was... okay. Better than that, better than "not bad",
actually well into "good," but not quite "quite good." (I think I see
why Siskel and Ebert went for thumbs). It lacked the astonishment
factor that the first movie carried with it: I didn't find myself
saying (as I did during the first film) "Holy smokes, they're actually
doing this right! They may just pull it off!" Ah how quickly we become
jaded.
But it was a good flick. It lacked the "oomph" of the first one, and
it had some flaws, but overall it was okay.
They really played up the Temptation of Aragorn by Arwen, which I
don't remember as being a factor in the books. However the sex scene
between Vigo Mortenson and Liv Tyler was hot hot hot! Sorry, just
checking to see if you are still awake. Actually I did find myself
getting a little lost at times as to exactly what Arwen was doing and
what her timeframe was in the picture, which is pretty interesting
since I don't know if Arwen is even mentioned in the second book. And
of course the constant question, "Damn, how can Liv Tyler kiss that
grimy, bristly face?" I guess a couple million dollars provides
incentive.
Gollum and the Ents were at about 99%. They just needed a little bit
more and you might have been able to forget you were watching a movie.
I don't know if you've ever seen 'The Neverending Story', but
Treebeard kept reminding me of the Rock-Biter.
The battle scenes were terrific. I am going to have to buy a large
screen digital TV to do the movie justice when it gets to DVD. I found
myself squinting for details on the big screen, such as Legolas'
acrobatic flip onto horseback during the battle with the wargs. It was
just a blur on the big screen. Likewise the details of individual
soldiers during the big battles are interesting, but easily lost in
the action. Definite frame-by-frame stuff. There was one scene which
has been in the TV commercials where Legolas descends a flight of
stairs by sliding down on a shield which is a kind of disruptive and
obvious nod to the skateboard crowd.
Overall the movie was lots of fun, with many of the great New Zealand
panoramic shots that make their Board of Tourism smile, and exciting
action and battle scenes. Some of the Eowyn/Arwen rivalry was a little
overplayed, and I DON'T remember a hair-pulling catfight in the book,
but maybe I need to go back and reread it again.
So it was good, but not as good as the first. Standard sequel stuff.
Go see it. Or better yet, buy me a large-screen flat panel TV and I'll
invite everyone over to watch it with me. I'll even provide popcorn
for free so that you don't have to carry snacks in your socks.
[1]Last
Posted by Albatross at December 18, 2002 12:00 AM