The Aerie
We live right by a park. Actually, that's one of the best things about this neighborhood: the setting. That's what sold me on it. We're near so many interesting and attractive things -- the park, the school, the river, soon even the Greenway and the Guthrie Theater. Wow!
A couple of years ago the park building was replaced after a massive and intense lobbying effort on the part of a number of the neighbors. The old building was horrible I think it was the oldest remaining park building, a cinderblock hut with a wooden meeting hall tacked on one end. The new building is quite attractive. Unfortunately, the increasingly-shabby playground was not on the table for upgrades.
Now, however, it sounds like enough time has passed that our park's playground is at the top of the list for service. Unfortunately, of course, the dot-com collapse means that there's no money, and it may be delayed. Whenever they get around to it, what I'd most like to know would be how we could keep some form of "rocket" in the park.
Yeah. Our park has a rocket.
It's cool -- a classic finned phallus rising four levels above the ground, with a welded-in-place steering wheel on the third level and a couple of welded-in-place-levers, for real dramatic action.
"Dammit, Scotty, we've got to turn this thing! We're headed right into the flaming heart of Sinistra nu Ophiuchi!"
"Ah'm doin' th' best Ah can, sir, but the controls! They won't move! It's like they're welded in place!"
Granted that plot would get stale after a while, but imagination is as boundless as the stars themselves...
"Dammit, Scotty, we've got to turn this thing! We're headed right into the flaming heart of Barnard's Star!"
"Ah'm doin' th' best Ah can, sir, but the controls! They won't move! It's like they're welded in place!"
And you wondered how the Star Trek writers managed to keep coming up with new stories after 35 years... it's easy!
Anyway, if the current rocket could be restored that would be okay. But if that's not possible I would like to see something replace it of a similar design.
Which is not to say I'm going to stand in the way of progress. I'm 110% in favor of new playground equipment. It's a miracle that none of my three ever knocked their teeth out on the warm, welcoming gray concrete train (made largely of leftover sewage piping). Or broke an arm gamboling over those quaint play-devices alled "boulders." Come to think of it, they've each broken an arm, two of them doing so in separate incidents by falling off the three-foot-high soft green plastic Playskool(TM)slide in our back yard...
But the rocket is a different issue. It has both style and history. I'd hate to see a local landmark like the rocket tossed onto the scrap heap. I can understand if the present rocket is somehow no longer viable, but if so we should get a replacement rocket.
Restoring this baby would take some work, I think. Over he years all sorts of additions have been made as the Perceived Threat Level of the Universe increased. First a metal plate was installed to shut away the topmost level of the rocket. There wasn't anything up there but a little crawl space,
but access to the rocket's interior is only achieved through a series of narrow holes ("hatches" as we space rocketeers refer to them). Over the years these holes have either gotten narrower, or the Average Human Ass has increased in size. I'm not going to venture a guess as to which is which, because many of the portly parents unable to fetch their children from the "prow" (as we call it) are my neighbors...
And of course, the Increased Threat Level of the Universe means that the paltry inverted-U "railing" around the metal-edged holes are no longer sufficient, and would need to be replaced with Buff-a-Babe(TM) brand padded floors, walls, ceilings and ladder.
Somewhere during the past ten years, in fact, the open metal bars of the ship's hull were reinforced with wire mesh. This was done only to spare the gray hairs of the landbound-parents: it's impossible for even the smallest child to force their way through the bars. I know.
Mine all tried. Nothing more fun than watching from high above as Mommy and Daddy jump up and down screaming "Get back! Stop! Pull your arms back inside the bars!" A complete laugh-riot for a three year old.
Despite the fact that you couldn't grandfather this relic into any existing health and safety regulations, I'm not willing to give it up without a fight. I've been telling my acquaintances that I live near "Rocket Park" for too long now to change my ways. I'll start having to tell people to "turn where the rocket used to be," and giving directions based on long-vanished landmarks is one of the first sure signs of old age.
No, whatever replaces the current rocket will be made of padded plastic, smooth surfaces, and bright, friendly, grafitti-resistant colors. While that might damage the military verisimilitude of our current starship, at least we'll have one. A rocket, to carry our children's dreams to the stars... and, if they can't free up the steering wheel in time, directly into them.
Hey, rockets are cool!
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Posted by Albatross at October 3, 2002 12:00 AM