Ever since our party line became a private line out in Bethel in the
mid Seventies, I've had a certain possibly naive expectation of
privacy on my phone line. When I place a call, there's a certain
intimate relationship: it's me, and the phone. You place your call,
and then a moment follows, a moment when you are being judged, both by
yourself and by those you're calling upon. What will I say when they
answer? What if they don't answer? What if somone else answers? Why
aren't they answering?
And at that vulnerable moment, when you're waiting either for the
anticipatory ringing or the beep-beep rebuff of the busy signal,
something new happens...
...Ms. Cheerful shows up! Stepping in between you and the virtual
front door of your friend's telephone steps this saccharine voice,
that announces with a kind of victorious glee...
"The LINE is BUSY!"
Then there's a brief pause during which it's easy to discern the
gloating smirk on her virtual face, which fades into a slightly
seductive moue as she suggests, "For only 95 cents, we'll keep
trying..." She's twirling a lock of your hair just above your collar
as she says this...
So... right there, in that moment of defeat, when your expectations
are dashed and your plans are all changed -- because the line is busy
-- here is Qwestoi Jane, playing off your disappointment with her
95-cent propaganda.
I couldn't tell you how Qwestoi Jane's busy signal pitch ends, because
I always hang up. I'm not willing to have my busy signal automatically
queued up by Qwestoi Jane for 95 cents. On the other hand, I'd be
happy to pay 95 cents for one thing...
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Posted by Albatross at August 5, 2002 12:00 AM